tired brain

I am underestimating myself and allowing my insecurities to consume me.

how will i raise these 3 children that are so close together.

I have spent the last few weeks come up with- routines, meal plans, weekly goals, monthly goals, daily goals, family activities, toddler activities, and so on.

I have spent the last few weeks organizing my already organized house to a T.

I have spent hours trying to get my 2 year old daughter to help me organize my coupons. (she is actually very helpful ...)

I am budgeting like its going out of style. Thats if you can call an income of $0 a month a "budgeting amount" {thank heavens for coupons}.

I am helping Jared organize our "evidence" and preparing our case against Mya's birth mother to decline her visitation or as minimal contact as a judge will allow... {what good is a stable home if a child has to leave that stable home every weekend to be with a "parent" that has done nothing financially, emotionally, or physically for said child. and does not plan to. }

I am also dealing with another big "issue"/kink in my planning. its consuming me mentally. more on this later. ...

I have dreams. I aspire for great things. I want to go on a date with my husband. I would love a vacation or that honeymoon we never took. I am happy to be going back to school in January.

The point of this ramble... is to convince myself that i AM doing great things. That i am a mother. EVEN if that is the only thing i feel that i am. and that im not even that creative to be one of those amazing moms. ... Motherhood is Heavenly Father's work. It is what he has planned for me. It is every little girls dream to be a mother... and I am thankful for motherhood.

Maybe this ramble will make more sense in the weeks to come. for those who actually read this. :) for now it feels good to get this out of my tired brain.