accept

I just cant seem to deal this week.
life has become too much to take "with grace"..
im weak and im bitter and im frustrated.
im offended and im mad..
i wish i could start my life over. stay away from certain people. stay out of utah maybe.
i wish i did not feel crossed by most.
i have come to the grand realization.. that its me and myself.. in life..
you can count on no one. trust no one. rely on no one but yourself.

i am thankful to have a group of girls that i love. that make me laugh.
to work with sweet babies that are innocent ..
to have a very accepting family.
to have met a man that finds so much worth in who i am.
to have a healthy son. who is my absolute best friend.
to be an open person.. open to the weather of life.. and the product of said weathered life...

i am learning who i want my son to be.. how i want to raise him..
and MOST definitely who i do NOT want him to be. . .
if that means raising him out of this state.. where he can have an open mind.. and a free spirit.. built to not judge.. built to love and accept.. then thats where we will be ...me and my boy.
laughing.


(in no way meant to offend the offended)..
my vent is of a personal nature.
because i feel i have no one to talk to.
so.... "dear blog"