restless

on my mind.

~ i hope my kids get out of this terrible two phase sooner than later.. i cant hear "MINE"... "No!"... and "moooommmy" with out feeling crazy!

~ ugh. death. i hate death. i find nothing glorious about the world losing a wonderful woman. a mother. a friend. i just do not have the emotional capability to deal well with death. i am so sad that my sweet friend Debbie passed away tonight. i will never forget how supportive, considerate, and accepting she was. . . and how privileged i felt to have her there with my family and friends for the first time i went through the temple.

~ i was reminded today.... the very many reasons i cant stand Utah county. and i was only there for a few moments. . but i saw enough. i will be happy to live my life far from the stepford mom's and crazy Utah county drivers.

~ whats it like...... to not have a consta aching uterus.... 6 weeks and counting.

~ whats it like.... to be thin. to not have a fat face. to wear pretty clothes. to have a hair color that flatters you. i feel so envious of those who know. i feel about as frumpy and awful as i ever have. i know i am 8 months pregnant but ... i hate feeling like this.

~ why does Asher assume that he is being poisoned every time he gets his teeth brushed.. he hates it!

~ migraines. i hate you. the last week and a half i have had a nice, solid, full blown migraine more days than i have not had one

~ who knew having a baby that is head down would feel SO wonderful! .... Asher never did figure out how to get his body in the head down position. to live daily , without a head under your ribs, is a great feeling.

~ i hate feeling so restless. i cant relax! i cant sit through an entire tv show. i must be folding laundry or making lists or washing bottles at all times

~ strawberries are taking over my life. i think about eating them constantly. strawberries and clementines and apple slices could satisfy and sustain me for days

~ i am amazed at the clothing women wear ... its like there is a HINT of sunshine in Utah and all the skanks bust out their butt shorts. its not ok when you have to wear a sweatshirt at the same time you sport butt shorts. or tube tops. im sorry. there is NO way to look classy in a tube top. i promise.

ok. glad to get some of those things off of my chest. its been a really rough night.. maybe now i can sleep